:: bachelor's notepad. ::

:: Thursday, May 29, 2003 ::

sleep more. think less. :).

:: kiathy. 10:16 pm [+] ::
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i'm beginning to get alot of time to think. last night i had this long long dream. and at the end of the dream it was already 5.11 am. and so i told myself to sleep. but the radio was playing. playing porcelain by moby. i used to love that song. for reasons we might know. everytime i hear it i think. haha. why. i think i got into alot of shit cos of that song. or rather it reminds me of alot of shit i got. but it never got me anything good in the end. control over choice. that was what i had.
anyway i'm on m.c. today. which means i'm sick. wee.

:: kiathy. 11:56 am [+] ::
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cool or stupid?




check out the answers hereherehereherehere.

:: kiathy. 11:32 am [+] ::
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check this out.

clickme.

:: kiathy. 10:05 pm [+] ::
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i'm a geek who has preferred to sit in front of the computer, practically doing nothing but waiting, while my friends have gone clubbing.
but nah i don't think that's true. i'm just not too convinced i'll make it in there. like with whatever's left of my hair now, which is quite refusing to grow after growing quite fast for the first 3 weeks, i'll prob make everyone in there laugh a whole lots. everyone there is probly older than me anyway. the guys would be about 3, 4 years older. the girls, at least a year. so what's the point. but i'm not into the guys though. obviously! so yup. i guess i'll go when i feel better about how i look. now i look like a freak with ugly hair ugly face. flabby everything. yupyup. so don't read my blog too much cos u'd be reading an ugly person's postings! okay i'm just joking. but only about the latter.
oh my oh my oh my. how it has changed my life. :|.

:: kiathy. 6:11 pm [+] ::
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my mum still firmly believes i'm a three year old kid. it's not because a act like one in front of her, but i guess it's just the way parents feel towards kids. i'm sure my dad feels the same way too, but just won't be as obviously cranky as my mum. and here's why. she thinks i should return to camp earlier, because it's too dark at night and i might have to walk into camp myself if it's too late and they can't drive me in. so in short she still thinks i'm a kid who's really very afraid of the dark and really can't walk alone for about 1.5 km at night. don't get me wrong. i love my parents. i just find it very amusing when she worries so much when i tell her there's nothing to worry about! i'm not even walking without lights. it's lighted. yea. so sometimes i feel bad when i like rebuke her and say things like 'i'm already 19 this year and yadayadayada why'd i be afraid of walking back alone?!' cos she starts feeling really stupid and such. but well i guess the worry's a show of love! yupss. sorry for all the stupid things i say to my parents!

:: kiathy. 8:44 pm [+] ::
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help. my blog is going haywire!

:: kiathy. 8:38 pm [+] ::
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lazy bosses are stupid. and stupid bosses are usually lazy. i guess it applies throughout the world.
it just happens that now i'm working for a lazy boss. sort of serving the nation yea. like what the hell. but it's okay. now i understand how a worker in the real world feels when he has bad bosses. no wonder people complain about their bosses. this will be the last time i have to serve someone so personally in my working life. next time, i'll be the boss, and i won't be a stupid and lazy one. my workers will love me. because i'll be their friend and vice versa. i need friends. not just big shot people in the world that know you only by the position you hold in the company. oh well. :).

:: kiathy. 8:30 pm [+] ::
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was on the mrt train today. i've gathered that people watching on the mrt is great thing to do if you have nothing better to do. you just look around you, and most of the time you see people looking away. and since i look sorta like shit now, i guess most of the people around me must be thinking 'gee what an ugly ass what's he doing looking around.' but well that's what i did. just look around, and think to myself. make little comments about others to myself. and just keeping myself entertained. at the same time, obviously keeping others entertained too. it's like, while u're making comments bout others like 'ew.', they're surely making some mental note about you too that sort of goes the same way. ie. 'ew.'. so it's kinda interesting to just think of what the other person is thinking when u're actually commenting about that person in yr mind.
the art of self entertainment: lesson #1.

:: kiathy. 9:15 pm [+] ::
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i hate worrying. worrying about what's going to happen. worrying about something in the future that i have no control over. i hate that. and i'm going through that. at times like these, i try to blank out myself. like try to do other things to make me not think about the unknown future. but my mind's too strong for my will most of the time. and so my will loses out, and the thoughts of whatever shitass consequences might happen to me takeover and bring me down.
and anyway. there's pretty much nothing i enjoy doing nowadays. i just enjoy being at home. not really doing much i guess. i enjoy being here. i enjoy listening to my music. but doing all those things, i still get to think. think think think. when you think you get down. cos usually i think alot about no good things. the good things, i just let them happen. :).
oh well. here i am again. down again. why why why.

:: kiathy. 9:04 pm [+] ::
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haha. check this out. offensive material ahead though.
it's how my page would look if i were a porn freak/addict/author.

clickme.

it's taken from here.

:: kiathy. 7:21 pm [+] ::
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oh ya. those with blogs i visit. update them. pls?

:: kiathy. 7:16 pm [+] ::
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oh ya. i just caught the matrix reloaded. pardon me if i'm slow but i really couldn't catch most of the dialogue that went on. and there's hell lots of dialogue in this sequal. but all in all it's still a good show, just that it didn't really wow me like the first show did, with all the bullettime things and such. but there's more storyline to it, so makes it more interesting. it's make a damn good read as a book. the ending sucks though. makes me just wish that november was next month.

:: kiathy. 7:13 pm [+] ::
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hahaha i think it's kinda pathetic that i'm just posting lyrics to update my blog now. but seriously i have nothing much to say nor do in this mundane life of mine. except blabber on and complain about this mundane life of mine. it's quite a vicious cycle actually. but it's the only thing that keeps me alive nowadays.

but anyway the song posted below is kinda cool. go get it somehow. like try the legal way. if not ask me for it.

so anyway. this is the 3rd sunday of may. it's funny how time flies. actually time doesn't really fly when you have nothing to do. that's exactly what's happening to me now! but it's kinda cool. i go into the office and look at the clock, 0800 hours. then i happily tell myself it's only 9 hours more to go and i actually feel good cos 9 hours seem so short to me nowadays!
i think there's something going on in me that's wrong. what's wrong with me. help.

:: kiathy. 7:09 pm [+] ::
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I Can - Nas

[Kids]
I know I can (I know I can)
Be what I wanna be (be what I wanna be)
If I work hard at it (If I work hard it)
I'll be where I wanna be (I'll be where I wanna be)

[Nas]
Be, B-Boys and girls, listen up
You can be anything in the world, in God we trust
An architect, doctor, maybe an actress
But nothing comes easy it takes much practice
Like, I met a woman who's becoming a star
She was very beautiful, leaving people in awe
Singing songs, Lina Horn, but the younger version
Hung with the wrong person
Gotta astrung when I heard when
Cocaine, sniffing up drugs, all in her nose
Coulda died, so young, no looks ugly and old
No fun cause when she reaches for hugs people hold they breath
Cause she smells of corrosion and death
Watch the company you keep and the crowd you bring
Cause they came to do drugs and you came to sing
So if you gonna be the best, I'ma tell you how

[Chorus - 2x (Nas and Kids)]
I know I can (I know I can)
Be what I wanna be (be what I wanna be)
If I work hard at it (If I work hard it)
I'll be where I wanna be (I'll be where I wanna be)

[Nas]
Be, B-Boys and girls, listen again
This is for grown looking girls who's only ten
The ones who watch videos and do what they see
As cute as can be, up in the club with fake ID
Careful, 'fore you meet a man with HIV
You can host the TV like Oprah Winfrey
Whatever you decide, be careful, some men be
Rapists, so act your age, don't pretend to be
Older than you are, give yourself time to grow
You thinking he can give you wealth, but so
Young boys, you can use a lot of help, you know
You thinkin life's all about smokin weed and ice
You don't wanna be my age and can't read and right
Begging different women for a place to sleep at night
Smart boys turn to men and do whatever they wish
If you believe you can achieve, then say it like this

[Chorus]

Save the music y'all, save the music y'all
Save the music y'all, save the music y'all
Save the music

[Nas]
Be, be, 'fore we came to this country
We were kings and queens, never porch monkeys
It was empires in Africa called Kush
Timbuktu, where every race came to get books
To learn from black teachers who taught Greeks and Romans
Asian Arabs and gave them gold when
Gold was converted to money it all changed
Money then became empowerment for Europeans
The Persian military invaded
They learned about the gold, the teachings and everything sacred
Africa was almost robbed naked
Slavery was money, so they began making slave ships
Egypt was the place that Alexander the Great went
He was so shocked at the mountains with black faces
Shot up they nose to impose what basically
Still goes on today, you see?
If the truth is told, the youth can grow
They learn to survive until they gain control
Nobody says you have to be gangstas, hoes
Read more learn more, change the globe
Ghetto children, do your thing
Hold your head up, little man, you're a king
Young Prince thats when you get your wedding ring
Your man is saying "She's my queen"

[Chorus]

courtesy of here.

:: kiathy. 6:47 pm [+] ::
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today is mother's day. i just read the papers, and there's this little article that said mother's day has been stripped of all its actual meaning and significance and just become a huge commercial monster. which i agree with actually. but the whole world's full of it anyway. my mum owns a gift shop so she kinda depends on commercialised significant events to make her moolah!
but anyway. mother's day was a day to actually pay tribute to deceased mothers. which is quite a scary thought. why why why.
everyone has to go some day. but then the thought of that is actually quite like. fear invoking in me.
AIY. i shall not continue.
here was how my day went. i woke up at 2 pm. about 11 hours after i slept..so i had quite a good sleep! though i'm kinda sleepy now. haha. i'm now convinced that when u feel happy/happier, u have lesser thoughts. that's why i've always maintained that sadness evokes thoughts. so i actually once believed it was better to feel sad, cos when u feel sad u actually have alot more emotions running through you like. and hatred, anger, etc etc seeps into you. and then you just start thinking. and so u go through a whole range of emotions which makes u feel more. i wonder if i'm making sense here. while when one is happy, u're just happy, elated, etc etc. but generally, it's just a good feeling with nothing much more to it.
that's why sadness is thought inducing. when i was sad/sadder, i had so many thoughts and so many things to say i actually wrote to myself. i wonder if i've said this before. but anyway, excerpts will be posted here soon..
so now i'm happy/happier. i have less thoughts. and less things to think about. so i shall end here. tata. :).

:: kiathy. 11:14 pm [+] ::
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happy mother's day to all the mothers in the world. and happy birthday to my mother too.

:: kiathy. 9:28 pm [+] ::
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You're the cheerful smile,the one that's truly
happy with almost everything you do and would
never change your life.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

how apt! i hope.

:: kiathy. 2:34 pm [+] ::
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so here it is. it's been concluded.
i've been posted out of wingline. and into HQ. and it's stay out. that's probably the only thing i'm going to love there.
i just remembered that when i started this blog, i didn't want anything personal here. ie things that only i can relate to like the above (wingline, HQ, etc).
so next post onwards. it shall be stuff that everyone knows about. yea. :).

:: kiathy. 10:47 pm [+] ::
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i love dilbert!

:: kiathy. 9:51 pm [+] ::
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cheap americans. :).
thanks to dilbert.

:: kiathy. 9:38 pm [+] ::
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hey hey. this is amazing. i'm using a laptop now. so i'm able to like. update my blog. usually i'm just online on icq using my phone. yay. can someone pls post a comment so i know my blog's being visited?! thank you. :).

:: kiathy. 9:17 pm [+] ::
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woah this is damn cool.
from matong's blog.
clickme.

:: kiathy. 6:52 pm [+] ::
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this is disastrous.

You have a total of 851 days left for his National Service.
This record is updated on 28-Apr-2003.

:: kiathy. 6:40 pm [+] ::
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The Humpty Dumpty Love Song
Travis
(The Invisible Band)

All of the king's horses
And all of the kings men
Couldn't put my heart back together again
All of the physicians and mathematicians too
Failed to stop my heart from breaking in two

Cos all I need is you
I just need you
Yeah, you got the glue
So I'm going to give my heart to you


I had a premonition
A movie in my mind
Confirming my suspicions about what I would fine
You followed me to LA, down to Mexico
Came in through the back door
At the start of the show


Chorus

Oh was a perfect day
Oh in a perfect way
You know, something had to go
You left me high, you left me low
Now as I lie in pieces, await for your return
The sun upon my forehead
It burns, baby, burns, baby, burns
An eye on all my horses
You slept with all my men
I'm never going to get it together again

source.

:: kiathy. 12:56 am [+] ::
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Some email i got from a friend. The big blank spaces were supposed to be pictures.

Butterflies taste with their feet.


A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.




In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the
world's nuclear weapons combined.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.



Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived
immigrants.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are

already married.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.


Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs ... but not downstairs.



Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year
because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the
weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

A snail can sleep for three years..



No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.



Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears
never stop growing. SCARY!!!



The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

All polar bears are left-handed.



In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,
including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.



TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only
on one row of the keyboard.

"Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She
would stand seven feet, two inches tall.



A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.



The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Almost everyone who reads this email will try to lick their elbow.



Don't forget to pass these weird facts on to everyone you know.

They will get a kick out of it !!

You tried to lick your elbow, didn't you?

:: kiathy. 11:50 am [+] ::
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once again i'm back. i feel good that i've updated my blog. but i just realised something. i don't sound like myself when i actually blog.
i sound peaceful here. yet full of angst. haha. like i'm a quiet person with lotsa shit stuck inside of me. that's my impression of my own blog. but i'm actually a noisy free man in reality.
maybe. this blog is filled with my thoughts. which aren't so noisy and so carefree. that's why it sounds so. dead. :).

anyway what's campy. anyone?

:: kiathy. 11:45 am [+] ::
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i am back. i decided to finally post something because someone mentioned something about blogs, i started going about others' blogs once more and decided that yea, i have something(s) to say.
i've actually reached a stage of nirvana where i'm so bored that i've resorted to speaking to myself in the form of writing to myself in my notepad in camp. it's totally pathetic. it just went like this. i was having some lesson some day. and i just started thinking of the number of days to ORD. and it began with counting down from 190503, from which i'd have 2 years exactly i.e. 730 days to ORD (190505). and then since the date that day was 290403, i simply added 20 days to my countdown to ord and viola. on 200403, i had 750 days to ord. it's just past midnight. so now i have, including today, 747 days to ORD. that's quite a comforting thought.
but well, as the lecture went on, more and more thoughts filled my head. and they were all about the army. and thus i wrote and wrote. in the end it wasn't much, but it got a whole load off my chest. but by then i felt pathetic. and i haven't written to myself ever since then. not many days ago though.
anyway. i'm out of ocs. gonna be a wimpy downgrader. alrite. enuff said bout the army.

i've realised i'm becoming more. different. maybe it's quite inside cos i don't think i'm any different in my behaviour with people around me. but i guess my thoughts have changed. i keep thinking of weird things now. like. losing a loved one. like woah. i just keep telling myself i'd just crumble if i lost anyone close to me. just anyone. wonder why. but i'm happy today cos i helped like. SAGE. this association for the elderly which isn't government funded so they needa raise funds from outside. glad i made a contribution of 10 bucks by buying this photoframe. which really isn't much.
when i make it big. if i make it big. i'll donate to charity. i think it's my way of like. helping. cos i know i can't go help out at some home or something because it's kinda awkward for me. i dun feel comfortable in there. but i really wanna help. so when i have the chance i like to give. maybe i'm just materialistic but i feel good about giving donations.
that's the part about my life.

next up is. my dream. haha. nah it's just my dream of having like a real nice room to retreat to, whenever i want to. AT HOME. not in camp. with like. a great home movie system. and everything. and i can just indulge in movies. like. i love watching movies. i know i've told everything this like a thousand times, but this is the time it's got to be put down into words. haha.

ta da. my first post in. weeks? a month. :).

:: kiathy. 12:21 am [+] ::
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